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  %DICHOTOMY CONFLICT SEPARATE COMPLEMENT INTEGRITY 930113

     When  dichotomies are respected it seems normal  that
complementary  aspects  of reality be separate  from  each
other   and  concentrated  in  different  times,   places,
contexts    and    people:     Good/evil,     male/female,
powerful/poor,   science/humanities,    perfect/imperfect,
order/chaos, etc.

     People  of  integrity do not respect  dichotomies  as
grounds  for tolerating the concentration of complementary
aspects of reality in separated times,  places,   contexts
and  people.   People of integrity are in the  process  of
integrating  those  complementary aspects of reality which
dichotomies hold to be appropriately separated.

     The  way to integrity through the integration of  the
separated  poles  of  dichotomies is not to  be  found  at
either pole of a dichotomy;  or on a straight line between
the  two  poles  of  a dichotomy.  The  way  to  integrity
transcends the attitudes and questions which the dichotomy
its  poles  and its linear thinking  promote.   Often  the
people  trapped by a dichotomy are trapped by a  collusion
which  promotes  the dichotomy as part  of  the process of
protecting the collusion.

     To  transcend  a dichotomy we must find  the  way  to
transcend  any compulsive preoccupation with the dichotomy
and  the  problems/dilemmas   which   it  promotes. Even a
preoccupation with transcending a dichotomy can entrap  us
within  the  dichotomy by keeping us preoccupied with  the
attitudes and questions which characterize the dichotomy.

     It  is likely to be helpful for us to associate  with
people  who  are  not preoccupied with any aspects of  the
dichotomy;  people who cannot understand why anybody cares
at all about the attitudes and questions which are central
in  the lives of people who are trapped  by the dichotomy.
This may be very difficult to do,  for such people are not
likely to appear to be worthy of respect to people who are
trapped  by  the  dichotomy.   Thus  we will  be  wise  to
associate  in significant ways with people whom we  regard
as  unworthy  of respect;  to see what we can  learn  from
their attitudes, questions, and life styles.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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