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 %ATTITUDE JUDGE SUCCESS FAIL OWN OTHER CONTROL JOY 921229

     What of our attitudes toward  successes and failures;
our own,  and those of others?  Much  depends upon how  we
define successes and failures.  Do we define them in terms
of: whether we did what we intended to do?  The effects of
our  efforts or the effects we  intended  to generate? Our
degree  of fulfillment/satisfaction or what we anticipated
to enjoy? In other terms?

     Success and failure are reflexive realities at heart.
We cannot define real successes or real failures  entirely
in objective terms with no associated reflexive aspects to
our definitions.  All successes  and  all failures  entail
both objective and  reflexive  aspects; efforts to pretend
otherwise are dishonest efforts which will not succeed.

     We may fail because:

     1.  We   generated  foolish  definitions  of  success
and/or failure.

     2.  We  were not well informed  about  preconditions,
possibilities, obstacles, costs, impediments, oppositions,
cause-effect relationships, impossibilities, etc.

     3.  We were trapped in collusive games of mutual self
deception, addictions, codependencies.

     4.  We were not fully dedicated to the venture.

     5.  We  did  not make enough of an effort with enough
resources.

     6.  Our  best  intentions were  misguided  in  tragic
ways.

     7.  Other people were determined to foil our efforts.

     8.  Unresolved   conflicts   within  and   among   us
prevented success.

     9.  We  did  not  know how  to  recognize  and  enjoy
success, or were not free to do so.

    10.  We tried to control what we cannot control.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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