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       %SICK PERSON NEED THREAT HEAL PARADIGM HEART 921223

     Sick  people often need each other to maintain  their
sick traditions.  One sick person who is not getting  well
and  is not interested in getting well, may resent another
sick person's progress in getting well---because of a need
for the other person's continued sickness.  The person who
is  not getting well feels threatened by  the  possibility
that  the person who is getting well  will  no  longer  be
present in  a  sick  way  to  support  their own continued
sickness.

     To  healthy people it may seem sick, that sick people
want to remain sick,  and it is.  Some people are so  sick
that  the  nature of their sickness includes the desire to
remain in the sick condition---which they do not recognize
as  being  sick.  They  regard  the  attitudes,   beliefs,
expectations,   and patterns of thought which are  at  the
heart  of  their  sickness,  to  be  the  only  reasonable
attitudes, beliefs, expectations, and patterns of thought.
Any change from them on the part of their sick friends, is
experienced as a threat to their cherished world views.

     To recover from some of our forms of sickness we need
to be alert to the possibility that some of our attitudes,
beliefs,   expectations and patterns of thought may be  at
the heart of some forms of our sicknesses;  and we may not
be aware of what it is that is making us sick. We  may not
want to give up the heart of our  sickness, because we may
regard it as part of the essence of  the way of life which
we regard as normal and proper;   being unable  to imagine
any   other  way  of  life  as  normal  and  proper.   Our
addictions,  collusions and codependencies may  to us seem
quite respectable, proper, and beyond reasonable question;
and  we may in our  sick  way  of thinking  believe it  is
unreasonable to suggest that we give them up.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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