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       %PREREQUISITE TRUE INTIMACY JACK JILL DESIRE 921222

     Jack and Jill are seeking true intimacy, but they are
not familiar with the prerequisites to true intimacy:

     1.  Having  been offered and been willing  to  accept
the  gift  of  security  as  the  freedom  to  be   safely
vulnerable.

     2.  Being  free  to be true to themselves and to each
other  by  being  free  of  addictions,   collusions   and
codependencies.

     3.  Having  reasonably  equal  amounts  and kinds  of
power, and being willing to share their powers in balanced
ways.

     4.  Being  as interested in each other as persons who
are inherently of interest as unique individuals,  as they
are in themselves and  their  own desires,  goals,  fears,
etc.

     5.  Having  healthy self esteem and  self  confidence
balanced with authentic humility.

     6.  Having  healthy role models who have demonstrated
healthy human relationships  and have elicited admiration,
respect, and emulation.

     7.  Being aware of what is humanly possible, and what
is humanly impossible; and not attempting or pretending to
do what is humanly impossible.

     8.  Seeking to build a relationship as a member of  a
partnership  of  equals,   not as an executive who  is  in
control.

     9.  Being  reliable and trustworthy  in  successively
more and more challenging situations.

     10.  Being willing to take  reasonable risks,   learn
together from  mistakes,   and work sacrificially for both
personal and communal integrity.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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