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  %BLOCK CONFLICT RESOLUTION ROOT VIOLENCE EGO LOVE 921208

     When we are in doubt and insecure and anyone attacks:
us personally,  what we say, what we do,  or what we stand
for;  then we are prone to take firm  positions and defend
those positions at all  costs---regardless  of how honest,
true,   meritorious  or  how dishonest,   false,   futile,
disintegrative,  addictive or collusive the positions  may
be.

     Attacking people who are insecure tends to make  them
more  inclined to take and defend doubtful  positions   at
great  costs.   Attacks do not resolve conflicts  in  most
instances. Attacks bury conflicts below the surface so the
conflicts cannot  be dealt with openly and  honestly.  The
losers in battles hide their resentments,   angers,    and
frustrations below  the surface;   from whence they  rises
in  destructive  expressions which are hard to  understand
and  deal  with. Conflicts are  not  resolved  by  winning
battles.   Winning  battles  often  sets  the  stage   for
future  occasions  of conflict initiated by the losers  in
the  battles,   by  their  children,      or    by   their
grandchildren    and   great-grandchildren  who   remember
with  resentment  the former losses.

     It  is only when the vast majority of participants in
a conflict  honestly feel that issues have been   resolved
to the  satisfaction  of  them all,    that  the  conflict
is  resolved  and future violence is  averted.    Attacks,
threats   of   attacks,   punishments,   and  threats   of
punishments rarely play roles in true conflict resolution.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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