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 %PLAN UNDERSTAND CONTROL PERSONAL RELATION COLLUDE 921121

     If  we  feel that we must be in control of  ourselves
and   each  other   in   order  to  conform  properly   to
requirements  for acceptability;   then we must be careful
not  to  enter into intimate relationships which we do not
yet understand  and have not planned carefully. To be able
to  conform  properly  we  must  be  able  to   anticipate
the  outcome  of  each relationship  into  which we enter.
This  requires  a   high  level   of   understanding   and
planning  prior  to  getting involved.

     If  we are perceptive and encounter  someone with the
above  attitudes  and assumptions,   we  are bound  to  be
suspicious  and on the defensive.  We will do all that  we
can   so  as  not  to   be  trapped  in   a   manipulative
relationship with such  a person. We will  do  what we can
to  prevent  such   a person from  getting   a  sufficient
understanding   of  us  to  serve  as  the    basis    for
manipulating us.   We  and  they  will  be alienated  from
each other.  We will seek to frustrate their efforts,  and
they   are   likely  to be frustrated by  us  and  others.
They    will   live   frustrated   lives.      In    their
frustration they are likely to become violent.

     We    need   to  work  to  transcend  the   set    of
perceptions  and  patterns  of  assumptions  characterized
above.   If  we  do  not,  we  and  our  communities  will
disintegrate.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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