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     %CORPORATE COMMUNAL INSTITUTION EVIL SIN ALIEN+921105
%MOURN DEATH FRIEND LOVER COLLUSION ADDICTION HABIT 921105

     If   we do not mourn the death of a friend  or  lover
we  may  not   accept  the  reality of the death  of   our
friend   or  lover;    refusing/failing  to mourn may   be
part   of  our  continuing pattern of pretending that  our
friend  or  lover  will   live forever.   Mourning is  the
process  of coming  to terms  with a reality which we need
to accept,  deal with, and move on. If we refuse to mourn,
we  may be refusing to be  honest about reality;   and  we
will not be able to deal wisely with our reality.

     If  we  are  participants in a pattern  of  collusive
games  of mutual self deception,    addictive habits,   or
codependent   attitudes   and   behaviors;      then   our
challenge   is   even greater than  is the  one  we   face
when  we  are  confronted with the death of  a  friend  or
lover.    There  are  objective aspects of the death of  a
friend  or lover which confronts us more directly than  do
the   deadly  aspects  of  collusions,    addictions   and
codependencies.    What  is  so deadly  about  collusions,
addictions    and   codependencies   is    our  persistent
pattern    of  denying  the  reality  of   our involvement
in them;  and denying that we are both creators of,    and
victims of them.  They are our friends and lovers, whom we
do  not  want to let go;  even though they are deadly  and
they are killing us.

     It is  hard  enough to mourn and to come  honestly to
terms with the physical death of a friend or lover.  It is
harder  to come honestly to terms with the death of   what
has   been  an    intense    and    satisfying    personal
relationship  especially---when  the   other   person   is
still  alive  and among our associates.  It is yet  harder
to  come honestly to terms  with  the need for us  to  let
go    of   our   deadly  collusions,     addictions    and
codependencies---when    our  associates,    friends   and
family  around  us  continue  to affirm  them,  live them,
and  expect us to live them  in respected conformal  life-
styles which are richly rewarded.  When  society   becomes
an    addict    how   are   we   to   heal  ourselves   as
individuals apart from corporate healing?

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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