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  %COMPROMISE WHEN CONTEXT OCCASION FOCUS INTEGRITY+921104
   %COMPROMISE HONESTY CONFLICT RESOLUTION POSITION+921104
                  %COMPROMISE NEED DESIRE WANT LOVE 921104

     It is often   difficult  to  recognize the difference
between  integrative   compromises   and    disintegrative
compromises.    Often    integrative    compromises    are
essential   to  true conflict  resolution.    Yet,   it is
also   true   that  some compromises  lead   to   residual
conflicts  which   fester endlessly   and  undermine  both
personal  and   communal integrity.

     What  are  the    differences    between  integrative
compromises and disintegrative compromises? No simple rule
will define the  difference,  but some comments  may point
the way  to being able to recognize the differences.

     Disintegrative compromises are likely to involve:

     1.  Doing violence to  truth,   honesty,  trust,  and
security.

     2.  Manipulation and  coercion  of  people  who  lack
power.

     3.  Being     preoccupied      with      appearances,
control, perfection, success, and imperfections.

     4.  Greater    emphasis    upon    competition   than
upon cooperation.

     5.  Satisfying  some  people's  desires and wants  at
the  expense  of meeting other people's basic human  needs
which   must   be   met   for   personal   and    communal
integrity  to survive.

     6.  Powerful  people  dominating  the   terms   of  a
settlement.

     7.  Attempts  to  compensate  for  insecurity through
defensive efforts to achieve security.

     8.  Accepting   the    playing   of   zero-sum    and
negative-sum  collusive  games  of  mutual self  deception
as normal  and natural.

     9.  Acceptance  of  conformal life-styles  as  normal
and natural.

     10.  Being dominated by fear, anxiety, and violence.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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