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%EMOTION FEEL SHOULD OUGHT DUTY MUST REQUIRE EXPECT+921101
              %DEMAND FORBID MORAL EVIL SIN CONTROL 921101

     There  is  danger present when we make use  of  words
such as:  should,  ought,  duty,  must,  require,  expect,
demand,  forbid, moral, evil, sin,  control IN ASSOCIATION
WITH  words  such  as emotion and feeling.  The danger  is
present even when we do not make overt use of the words in
such combinations,  but  our  thought patterns involve the
tacit connection of what the words point to.

     Feelings  and  emotions need to be dealt with  openly
and honestly;  not in terms of technologies of control and
manipulation.

     If we seek to deal with feeling and emotions in terms
of technologies of control and manipulation, the result is
the  playing of collusive games of mutual self  deception;
placing  emphasis upon appearances rather than  upon  true
realities.   Then there is a real danger that people  will
get  out of touch with their own and each other's emotions
and feelings; and not be well informed or led to make wise
decisions,   and  not be well motivated to act in  healthy
ways.

     If  we  engage  in games  of  mutual  self  deception
regarding  the possibility of controlling our feelings and
emotions; then at a fundamental level we are ready to play
games  of mutual self deception about other  matters which
are  not  so  essentially our own---or as central  to  our
being true to ourselves and to each other.

     It  is  a  major step toward personal  and   communal
disintegration to be  willing to engage in games of mutual
self deception about our own feelings and emotions.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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