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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9210211.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %CONFLICT RESOLUTION CLARIFICATION STEPS HONEST 921021 It is important to recognize the nature of the steps which we must take to resolve our conflicts. 1. First we must acknowledge that there are conflicts in our lives which are in need of resolution. If we pretend that our lives are free of conflict, we then cannot take the steps necessary to resolve the conflicts which we say do not exist. 2. If we pretend that through dominance, coercion and attempts to be in control we can resolve our conflicts at the expense of other people, then we cannot resolve our conflicts; for our conflicts are also the conflicts of other people. If they and we try to resolve our joint conflicts through mutual efforts at dominance, coercion and trying to be in control---then we perpetuate our conflicts as violent contests and battles to be won and lost; and perhaps as wars with all the destruction which they bring. 3. We can resolve our mutual conflicts only if we and others mutually decide to deal openly and honestly with our conflicts---to truly resolve them to our mutual satisfaction. We must together decide not to deny them, not to try to win at each other's expense, not to run from our conflicts, not to hide, not to confuse or repress our awareness of our mutual conflicts. Only then can we work together to find mutual satisfaction in resolving our mutual conflicts. 4. When we are ready to work together in resolving our conflicts we must clarify the nature of our mutual conflicts. If we are confused about our conflicts we cannot work together in resolving them to our mutual satisfaction. If we are ignorant of how each of us perceives our conflicts, we cannot work for mutual satisfaction in the resolution of our conflicts; for we must know and agree upon what will bring mutual satisfaction, in order to be able to cooperate in doing what needs to be done to reach a resolution which will offer mutual satisfaction. 5. To clarify our conflicts we need to increase our mutual awareness of the roots of our conflicts in our past lives with regards to: a. Dysfunctional families of origin and traumatic childhood experiences. b. Unarticulated and/or poorly articulated ideals, values, goals, and ultimate concerns. c. Traditional patterns of dysfunctional relationships between individuals and groups---which entail violence, injustice, coercion, discrimination, domination, and turf wars. d. Patterns of resentment, grudges, and desires for revenge as a crude form of justice. e. Patterns of envy, competition, desires, needs and privileges which are not dealt with honestly. f. Dilemmas pertaining to limited natural resources and limited human powers/abilities; and pertaining to visions which in the nature of things cannot be fulfilled. g. The reality of tragedies which persist even in the face of our best human efforts. h. The realities of addictions, collusions and codependent traps which imprison us in ways which we cannot recognize. 6. We need to develop a communal consensus as to what are the appropriate ways to cooperate in resolving our conflicts; consensuses which involve in meaningful ways the active participants in the immediate conflicts, the concerned bystanders who are affected by the continuing conflicts, and civil/religious authorities who play roles in creating the contexts within which the conflicts persist. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================