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 %CONFORMAL EMOTION FEEL COMMUNITY OPEN HONEST SELF 920928

     Conformal emotions are emotions which are elicited by
conformal communities in which members believe that  their
emotions  should  conform  to expectations;   rather  than
believe that their emotions should be attended to as  open
and   honest   revelations  which   communicate   reliable
information which is important,  useful and worthy of non-
judgmental attention.

     Conformal    emotions   are   constrained   emotions;
constrained   by   expectations,   requirements,  shoulds,
shouldn'ts, prohibitions, taboos,  etc. Conformal emotions
are  not  honest emotions,  and cannot be  relied upon  to
communicate  information  which is important,  useful  and
worthy of non-judgmental attention.

     People  who know only about conformal emotions do not
recognize  authentic emotions   as  potentially  open  and
honest   revelations  which  could  communicate  to   them
information which would be important, useful and worthy of
their  non-judgmental attention.  Because they do not know
emotions as open and honest revelations which  communicate
information which is important,  useful and worthy of non-
judgmental attention;  conformal  people see the  emotions
which  they  do experience as the justification for  their
own  conformal expectations regarding emotions.  They  are
not  skilled  in   dealing  honestly  with  true reflexive
relationships and the emotions which  are  associated with
true reflexive relationships.  Their  collusions make such
skills to  be taboo,  for such skills would undermine  the
"integrity" of their collusions.

     To   escape   the  traps  of   respecting   conformal
expectations relating to emotions, we need to heighten our
personal and communal levels of respect  for the essential
places  of honesty,  openness and integrity in all aspects
of   real   living   which   brings   authentic   meaning,
satisfaction and joy.

     So long as dishonest emotions are respected as having
utilitarian manipulative value, so long we are unlikely to
learn  about the useful information which is  communicated
through open and honest emotions.

     So long as taboos  which inhibit  honest emotions are
respected  as having utilitarian manipulative  value,   so
long we are unlikely to learn about the useful information
which is communicated through open and honest emotions.

     So  long  as  we maintain our  collusions  as  useful
manipulative  devices:  we will not be free to be open and
honest about our emotions, we will not be free to know our
own  authentic emotions openly and honestly,  and  we will
not  be  free to be true to ourselves  with  personal  and
communal   integrity.    Instead  we  will   continue   to
participate in   personal   and   communal  disintegration
without recognizing what is happening to us,  and  without
recognizing why it is happening to us.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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