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  %SHOULD NOT TRAP LANGUAGE WORD DESCRIBE STATEMENT 920918

     Some people get trapped in the language of  "should",
both with regard to "should"  and "should-not".   All  too
often statements made with the word "should"  are coercive
and  even  violent  statements which show  a  manipulative
disregard  for  the  nature of  the  integrity  of  unique
individual  persons  who are seeking in their  own  unique
ways to contribute to communal integrity in balanced ways.

     When such trapped people hear a descriptive statement
about   the   consequences  of  a   particular   attitude,
perception, belief,  conviction,   desire,   fear, action,
etc.;  they automatically regard  the  statement as "code"
for a substitute statement which involves the coercive use
of  the word "should"  in either a negative or a  positive
way. They cannot  distinguish  between  the  two  kinds of
statements and regard them as being equivalent;  unable to
see  the  disintegrative  consequences  of  the   coercive
"should"  statements,  or the honest truth of the accurate
descriptive statements.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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