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  %TABOO EMOTION FEEL EXPRESS WRITE SPEECH CONVERSE+920719
      %TABOO RELATIONSHIP INTIMACY FRIENDSHIP STORY+920719
     %CREATE IDEAL IMAGE FULFILL HOPE CONTEXT PLACE 920720

     When  we  are generally confused it is  difficult  to
create  a  coherent image of who we might be in  the  most
fulfilling way;  for that depends greatly upon the context
which our community provides. If our community lacks unity
and is confused, it is difficult for each of us  to create
our own  coherent  image  of  our own possible fulfillment
while our community is disintegrating.  Our own  integrity
depends greatly upon the integrity of our community.

     Even if we manage to create a coherent image  of  who
we  might be and what we might be doing in fulfillment  of
who  we  can possibly be and what we can possibly  do---we
cannot fulfill that image in the absence of cooperation on
the  part  of others with their own images,  beings,   and
doings;   with  their own ideals/values,   presence,   and
actions.

     If  we  and members of our community  are  not  clear
about our images,  beings, and doings;  clear to ourselves
and clear to each other, then it will be difficult for use
to  enjoy any sense of fulfillment within the  context  of
fulfilling our potentials.  We cannot be clearly fulfilled
in  the absence of a jointly shared image of what it  will
be   like  to  be  fulfilled;   for  clarity  about   real
fulfillment  is  by  human nature a shared  reality  which
cannot  be  real  in  the absence of  a  shared  image  of
anticipation which  has  to  do with shared ideals/values,
pictures, stories, hopes, expectations, etc.

     We need to clarify our images of fulfillment,  and to
share  our  preliminary  images  during  our  process   of
clarification  and  articulation.  We cannot say what  our
images are  apart from our process of articulation,  which
is  a  process  of seeking to create our images by  saying
what  they might be.  We need to talk,  converse,   be  in
dialogue,   and listen---and through our conversations  we
may  be  converted  from   confusion   to   clarity  about
ourselves,  each   other,    and  our  communities;    and
about    what fulfillment  might be like,   and how we may
be  converted from who we are to whom we might become.

     We fear the unknown,  the unfamiliar.  We fear change
from   the  known  and  familiar;   to  the  unknown   and
unfamiliar.

     To  enjoy fulfillment we must change from who we  are
and  what we are doing;  to who we may become by being and
doing  what  will lead us to enjoy  our  fulfillment.   We
cannot  enjoy fulfillment in the absence of change in  who
we  are.   We cannot enjoy fulfillment in the  absence  of
change  in our being;  or in the absence of change in  our
doing.   We  need to learn how to enjoy  creative  change,
rather than to fear it.

     We  fear change which will embarrass others and  lead
to them being insecure in our presence.  We fear change in
others which might embarrass us and make us feel insecure.
We  need  to receive the gift of security from  others  so
that  we will not be unduly embarrassed and threatened  by
change; their changes and our changes. We need to give the
gift of security to others so that they will not be unduly
embarrassed  and threatened by change;   our  changes  and
their changes.  Only in the presence of such gifts will we
be free and able to talk,  converse,  be in dialogue,  and
listen---and through our conversations   be converted from
confusion to clarity about ourselves, each other,  and our
communities; and about what fulfillment might be like, and
how  we may be converted from who we are to whom we  might
become.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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