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                 %SUFFER PAIN SACRIFICE GIVE RESENT 911129

     It is dangerous to believe that the way to redemption
and  salvation requires unlimited giving,  generosity  and
martyrdom;  believing that redemption and salvation cannot
be  accepted  and/or  enjoyed  with  out  first  accepting
unlimited suffering, pain and sacrifice. Such belief leads
believers  into unhealthy relationships which do not  deal
honestly  with human limits and resentment when  unlimited
generosity does not elicit unlimited appreciation.  In the
absence  of  unlimited  appreciation there is  a  risk  of
indulging  in  compensatory  resentment.   Resentment   is
usually  a sign of excessive generosity on the part of the
resentful person.

     We  need to know how to recognize healthy  limits  to
our  generosity  which  we must  honestly  acknowledge  to
maintain   personal  and  communal  integrity.   Unhealthy
generosity   does   not  promote  personal   or   communal
integrity.   It  is disintegrative to act as if  unlimited
generosity  merits unlimited respect.  We need to know how
to  limit  our respect for generosity,  and to  limit  our
respect  accordingly to maintain our personal and communal
integrity.

     People who disintegrate themselves through  unhealthy
generosity   should  not  be  encouraged  to  persist   in
unhealthy  generosity should not be encouraged to  persist
in  unhealthy  generosity whereby they commit  more  time,
energy  and  money  than they can give  while  maintaining
their  personal integrity cannot contribute in  a  healthy
way   to  communal  integrity,   nor  to  other   people's
integrity.   We need to deal honestly with the experiences
of people who seek salvation through unlimited generosity.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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