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 %HELLO THOU MYSTERY SPIRIT INTIMATE CONTROL ADDICT 911020

     We  do  not presume to try to control that  which  we
acknowledge  to be mysteriously meaningful to us in I-Thou
relationships.   When  we  are truly  real  within  I-Thou
relationships   we   are  not  trying   to   control   the
relationships   and/or   the   participants   within   the
relationships;    for   when   we  try  to   control   the
relationships  they cease to be truly real and  meaningful
to us.

     If we try to understand and predict the course of our
mysteriously meaningful relationships,  we are then  prone
to  try  to do so as steps towards trying to  control  the
course  and meaning of them;  and they cease to  be  truly
real  and  meaningful  to  us,  the  more  we  succeed  in
understanding and predicting their course of development.

     If  we are trapped in collusive games of mutual  self
deception   according  to  the  patterns  of  assumptions,
attitudes  and thoughts of addicts and codependents;  then
it is of ultimate importance to us to be in control of all
experiences  and  relationships  which  might  expose  our
dishonesty;    as  we  fear  that  truly  meaningful   and
mysteriously  significant I-Thou relationships may  expose
our dishonesty.  For this reason we often seek to minimize
the mystery,  the meaning and the spiritual aspects of our
relationships with people and objects;  by  systematically
understanding,   predicting and controlling their  natures
and behaviors as we perceive them.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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