This is http://www.essayz.com/a9109293.htm         
Previous-Essay      <== This-Essay ==>     Following-Essay
Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words.
{Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.}
==========================================================
%IDENTITY DISTRIBUTE RELATIONSHIP LOST LACK CONFUSE 910929

     Our   personal  identity  resides  in  our   personal
relationship   with    other    people,     and   in   the
relationships  among  the various aspects of our self.

     When  our  personal relationships with other  persons
are confused, our identity is confused.

     When  our  personal identity is confused,   we  enter
into  confused personal relationships with other  persons;
with inconsistent foundations, structures and boundaries.

     When  we try to control our relationships with  other
people  --and so try to control the other people who  play
roles  in our relationships;   they respond by  trying  to
control   our relationships  with  them  and by trying  to
control  us. Reciprocal dishonest manipulations evolve.

     When  our  relationships  with  other  people  expand
in unhealthy  ways,    so  also does our  identity  expand
in  unhealthy   ways.   When our relationships with  other
people expand in healthy ways,   so also does our identity
expands and become diffused and ill-focused.

     When  our  relationships  change,   so  also  do  our
identities  change.     Upon  the loss of  a  relationship
through  death,  conflict,  misunderstanding,   separation
or  another  event;  we  experience  a  loss  of  personal
identity    with   some  associated  pain,   anxiety   and
confusion.

     We  cannot control our identity apart from control of
our  relationships.      Because    we   cannot    control
our relationships, we cannot control our identity.

     Our  identity  is inherent in our relationships,   so
our  identity   is  inherent  in  the  structure  of   the
communities  of  which we are a participant  member.    We
cannot  separate our  identity  from the structures of the
communities  of which we are participant members.

     We are who we are because of whom we relate to,   and
because  of  how  we relate to those people who play roles
in   our relationships.    We will do well to give careful
attention  to  whom we relate to and to how we  relate  to
them;   for the structure,    manner,   tone and attitudes
which  pervade  our  relationships  are what  lead  us  to
become who  we  become,  and  lead  us  to  the  kinds  of
satisfaction   and  dis-satisfactions which we  experience
in our health and/or our dis-ease.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
==========================================================