This is http://www.essayz.com/a9106282.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %THEORY PERSONAL CONTROL RESPONSE RELIABLE PREDICT 910628 To succeed in controlling another person one must have a reliable theory of how the other person will respond to a wide variety of different attempts to control them. The person whom one wants to control must be a person likely to respond in a predictable way, to each of the various ways in which one might try to control them; else the attempts to control them will be unreliable, and their response to the attempts to control them will be unpredictable. It is dangerous to assume that another person will respond to an attempt to control them, in the same way we would respond; or in the way we would want them to respond. It is dangerous to attempt to control another person without knowing in intimate detail a great deal about the other person; for ignorance is not a very good foundations for success. To be successful in controlling another person you need to know a great deal about the other person, and how that person is different from you and other persons. Most people resent efforts by others to control them, and on becoming aware that someone is trying to control them, they behave unpredictably so as to subvert any effort to control them. They are willing to do what to them are foolish acts, rather than to conform to what others are trying to get them to do; avoidance of control is a high priority to most people. People who are trying to avoid being controlled are often very clever and very determined. People who try to control other persons are often dedicated to highly predictable patterns of behavior, and they themselves behave in highly predictable ways. People who are deeply dedicated to avoiding being controlled, are more likely to be flexible; and able to turn the tables effectively on any would-be controllers who are dedicated to being predictable in their behavior patterns. The controllers are more susceptible to being controlled by the targets of the controllers, than the targets of the controllers are susceptible to being controlled by the would-be controllers. Controllers tend to enter into sure-lose contests with flexible people; people who can effectively turn the tables on them and control the controllers by how they flexibly respond to the futile efforts of the would-be controllers. The logic of would-be controllers put them at the mercy of highly flexible people who understand their perverted way of thinking and feeling. Addicts and codependents need to understand that they are engaged in sure-lose contests in which nobody will win any meaningful prize. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================