This is http://www.essayz.com/a9106141.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %LEARN WORD LANGUAGE COLLUDE IMITATE TABOO SILENCE 910614 Humans are imitative creatures, prone to imitate what others in a coherent group do, and do not do. We learn by doing what we see others doing. We want to fit in. We do not want to be rejected for being different. We want to be like others. We want to be "in style". We fear abnormality. We conform. Conformity has to do with being like others in doing what others do, and in not doing what they do not do. Conformity is encouraged by signs of embarrassment at hint of non-conformity; as when something is not done like everybody does it, when something is done which nobody is doing. We learn when to be embarrassed through conformity. We learn to talk by imitating others. We talk like others talk. We learn to use the words which others use. We learn pronunciations by making sounds which others make. We put words together like others put words together. We learn language through conformity. As we learn our language we learn what people do talk about, and what people do not talk about. We learn to talk about what other people talk about, and we learn not to talk about what others do not talk about. To fit in we conform. When we fail to conform others are embarrassed and cause us fear that we might be different and be rejected. So we conform. We learn as we grow up, that others do not talk about the details and experiences of birth, urination, defecation, masturbation, sexual interc ourse and death. These are taboo topics which are not shared in open and honest talk. There is embarrassment when the topics come up. We learn to be embarrassed when the topics come up by conforming ourselves to other people's embarrassment whenever the topics come up. There is a collusive conspiracy of silence about the taboo topics of our culture which we learn not to talk about in the process of learning our language. The two learning processes occur together as one process, they are one process. Learning what the taboo topics are is part of the process of learning our language, so the definition of what topics are taboo is part of our language. It is not easy to change a language. It is not easy to change the part of our language which defines what the taboo topics of the language are. Violating the taboos and talking about the taboo topics is not enough to change the taboo topics; others will be embarrassed. More profound changes must occur to transcend to taboos which we learned as part of our language. To transcend the taboos which we learned as part of our language we must create secure contexts in which embarrassment will not be experienced as a threat of rejection. We need to learn to value freedom of expression enough to care enough to do the work which must be done to create secure contexts in which embarrassment will not be experienced as a threat of rejection. This will involve major changes in your system of ideals and values. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================