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    %IMPERFECT LOVE RELATION PERSON INTIMACY HONEST 910511

     Every person and relationship is imperfect  according
to   some   standard  for  judgement  of  persons   and/or
relationships.

     Imperfection is itself a relationship between persons
and/or   relationships   and  standards   of    judgement.
Imperfection is not an objective reality.  Imperfection is
a  reflection upon what standards of judgement are  chosen
and by  persons and/or relationships cast light upon   the
persons  and/or  relationships  making  the   choice;   so
imperfection  is a reflexive reality,   not an   objective
reality.

     Our dilemma is to choose wisely regarding how we will
respond  to the imperfections we perceive because  of  the
choices we make regarding the standards of judgement which
we will use in looking upon ourselves, each other, our own
relationships and other people's relationships.

    Our dilemma has various elements in it:

     1.  Our choices of standards of judgement.

     2.  Who   we are,   the attitudes we cultivate,   who
   we associate with, how we behave, etc.

     3.  The   kinds  of  relationships  we  develop   and
   sustain.

     4.  How we use our standards  of  judgement;    i.e.,
   what we do with the judgements, how we regard our
   judgements of our  selves,   each other,  and our
   relationships.

     5.  How    our   judgements   affect   the    amount,
   quality,     honesty   and   openness   of    our
   communication of all kinds.

     6.  How    our   standards  of  judgement   and   the
   judgements   we  make  affect  our  personal  and
   communal integrity.

     We need to avoid falling into the trap  of  presuming
that  an absence of satisfaction in our dilemma is due  to
an  imperfection  in  us or another;  and not  due  to  an
imperfection in the choice of standards of judgement,  not
an imperfection in the use of standards of judgement,  not
an imperfection in our relationships, etc.   The origin of
our  absence  of satisfaction may reside  somewhere  other
than where we most naturally assume it resides.   We  need
to  be broad minded in thinking about where the origin may
reside.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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