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 %GIVE GIFT SHARE RECEIVE OWN LET RELEASE INTEGRITY 910505

     We cannot with integrity give,  share,  let go of, or
release  that  which  we do not own; or do  not  have with
integrity.

     We cannot  with  integrity give what is not  ours  to
give; e.g., stolen or illegal goods.

     We cannot with integrity receive what is improper for
us to have or own; e.g., stolen or illegal goods.

     It is dangerous for us to share, let go of or release
that which we may not with integrity own or share;  for in
sharing,   letting  go,   or releasing we may  reveal  our
impropriety.

     If we  have or own some  thing,  idea,  ideal, value,
feeling,    experience,   perception or insight,  which we
feel it is improper for us to have or own;  then we cannot
with integrity give,  share,  let go of or release it; for
we fear  that in sharing,  letting go of,  or releasing it
we will reveal what  we  regard as our impropriety.    Our
fellow participants   in  our addictions,   codependencies
and collusions will be upset  with  us,  and excommunicate
us, if we make inappropriate revelations of aspects of our
selves which we do not have or own with integrity.

     If we lack self confidence and self esteem, we cannot
with integrity have and own what is central to our  being;
for  we  tend  to  take cues from others  as  to  what  is
appropriate for us to have and to own as our own.   Others
are  unlikely to affirm the propriety of what is  uniquely
our own, if they lack self confidence and self esteem; for
then  they are unlikely to feel secure in the presence  of
what is different in us.  We often feel threatened by that
which  is different and unfamiliar.   When we are not sure
of our selves, we cannot be secure with other selves which
are fundamentally different from our selves;  and so  also
with others who regard us as different.

     When  we  are  lacking in self  confidence  and  self
esteem  we   are   insecure,     and tend to  be  on   the
defensive  in efforts  to  overcome  our insecurity;   and
through   our  defensive  efforts we make others  insecure
and   defensive.   This   is  a strange loop  which  grows
exponentially   as   it feeds on itself  undermining  self
confidence,   self esteem,  giving,  sharing,  letting go,
honesty, openness,  integrity and security.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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