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      %DEALING HONESTY EMOTIONS COLLUSION DEFENSIVE 910501

     Addicts, codependents and participants in  collusions
have a hard time dealing with their own and other people's
emotions;    because  emotions  are  expressive   of inner
realities    which  are  not  under  the  control  of  the
addictive,     codependent  or  collusive  paradigm  which
controls   perceptible  behaviors  the  people.   Emotions
threaten  to  expose the lack of integrity of any  imposed
system which presumes to try to control people's thoughts,
behaviors, desires, fears and/or feelings.  Thus we try to
control our emotions.

     Emotions  cannot  be  controlled as  readily  as  can
verbal  and overt behavioral expressions of self.     Thus
emotions  can   expose   our  failures   to   conform   to
whatever   our  paradigm   and   community   requires   of
us.     To   deal effectively  with emotions,   we must be
able  to deal  with our  failures to fulfill our paradigm.
If  our  paradigm lacks  integrity,     we lack  integrity
and   our   emotions  expose   our   lack   of  integrity.
Then  we   cannot  with integrity   deal  with   the  fact
that   we  lack  integrity because   our   paradigm  lacks
integrity  by   demanding dishonesty of us.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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