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 %FOCUS ATTENTION CONTROL ILLEGITIMATE PLEASURE SEX 910422

           We need to take time to

   think about and be in dialogue regarding

         the following facts of life.

    Much of our human attention is compulsive and is:

      focused upon or diverted away from

           the presence or absence

          of prescribed or forbidden

               levels or kinds

      of control or lack of control over

           the presence or absence

          of permitted or forbidden

               kinds or levels

             of pleasure or pain

          in permitted or forbidden

  times, places or other kinds of contexts.

   These preoccupations are seldom if ever integrative.

 The preoccupations are often disintegrative.

   We need permission to let go of the preoccupations.

      We do not need the preoccupations.

      We do need honest liberating love

        in place of the preoccupations

     which imprison us and cause alienation among us.

    The preoccupations do not liberate us

            to be our true selves

      with unique integrity and honesty.

           With the preoccupations

           we play games which are:

                  dishonest

                  addictive

                 codependent

                  collusive

                 manipulative

                   coercive

                   violent

                 destructive

                disintegrative

               depersonalizing

                  objective

                   analytic

                  predictive

                     and

                presumptuously

                  attempting

     to appear to control what cannot be controlled.

       Often our preoccupations pertain

            directly or indirectly

     to sexual pleasure, pain, desire or frustration.

      Rarely do we know or feel that we

              do, should or can

            intuit, learn or know

                 how to deal

     wisely, reflexively, thoughtfully or prayerfully

with such sexual preoccupations and dilemmas.

         We do know, feel and intuit

              that we and others

  are uncomfortable, embarrassed or fearful

    regarding our sexual preoccupations and dilemmas.

We are rarely comfortable, secure, or at ease

  in dialogue, conversation, communication or listening

          to ourselves or each other

             focusing attentively

   upon sexual preoccupations or dilemmas.

     We lack the insights, principles and ideals needed

 to motivate, guide and direct our attention

                to other than

           the presence or absence

          of prescribed or forbidden

               levels or kinds

      of control or lack of control over

           the presence or absence

          of permitted or forbidden

               kinds or levels

             of pleasure or pain

          in permitted or forbidden

  times, places or other kinds of contexts.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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