This is http://www.essayz.com/a9104171.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %PERSONAL CONTEXT SECURITY ELICIT ENCOURAGE HONEST 910417 If we wish to enjoy the benefits of honesty, we need to work to create personal contexts in which others will feel secure enough to feel that it is safe to be honest. We cannot make other people be honest. We can only elicit honest behavior by providing to others secure personal contexts in which honesty is encouraged through truthful encouragement which is non- manipulative, non-coercive, non-violent, and free of ulterior motives. People who are defensive do not feel free to be honest. To encourage honesty we must act in ways which make defensive behavior feel inappropriate. When people suspect that we have ulterior motives and suspect that we will be willing to use personally manipulative means to achieve our ulterior goals; then people will not feel secure enough to be honest with us. To enjoy honesty we must have motives which are open, transparent, honest and which do not call for personally manipulative means to achieve them. We cannot control people's willingness to be open, honest, intimate and vulnerable. All attempts to control people will undermine their willingness to be open, honest, intimate and vulnerable. If we wish to live in honest personal contexts where people are honest without paranoid considerations; we need to let go of the ideas and ideals which call for us to exercise control over other people's feelings, thoughts, assumptions, perspectives, experiences, beliefs, and behaviors. No one person or select group of people can be in control of a personal context in which they themselves or others live. A personal context is created by how participants within the personal context respond to the personal context. Personal contexts are reflexive realities. Personal contexts are not objective realities; and so personal contexts cannot be controlled, manipulated, or used in the manner in which people use and abuse objects. Because people in personal contexts tend to mirror the nature of the context; the nature of personal contexts tend to behave exponentially. The extent to which we and others enjoy honest living depends upon the extent to which the personal contexts which we create provide true security; the freedom to be vulnerable in open, honest, and intimate relationships. Such security cannot be provided through manipulative technologies which make use of remote controlled weapons made of metals, explosives, electronics, optics, injunctions, prohibitions, taboos, laws, and moral codes. The manipulative use of all such devices tend to generate insecurity, defensiveness and inclinations to be dishonest. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================