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 %HEALTH INTIMATE HONEST BOUNDARY IDENTITY SEPARATE 910406

     It is important to have a clear understanding of what
is,   and  what  is not,   included in  relationships   of
healthy intimacy:

     Healthy    intimacy   does   NOT   erase   boundaries
between  participants;   boundaries  remain and  they  are
respected.

     Healthy   intimacy   does   NOT   eliminate  separate
identities;   separate  identities  remain  and  they  are
respected.

     People who participate  in  relationships  of healthy
intimacy  are open and honest with each other;   yet  they
respect  each other's separate needs for privacy,  spaces,
independence, personal  friends,  communication rights and
ownership  of their own unique feelings and opinions.

     People  who  are  intimate  in  healthy  ways  do not
surrender  their  rights to each other,  and they  do  not
acquire rights over  each  other;   intimacy is not  about
any  kind  of control.

     Intimacy  does not imply the acquisition  of  rights,
or  the  giving   away  of rights,   it  involves  sharing
openly    and  honestly  in  being  together  when   being
intimate;    and being  free   and  comfortable  in  being
separate beings  when  not actively being intimate.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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