This is http://www.essayz.com/a9103271.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %CHILD JUDGEMENT PARENT POWER ADULT UNDERSTAND LOVE 910327 The most misguided and powerful judgements of our childhoods haunt us as adults, until we understand their misguided nature, their power, and they way they haunt us in the hidden valleys of the shadow of death. Disturbed and troubled parents who do not know how to deal with their dilemmas; often make mistakes in judgement because of their ignorance of realities, relationships, alternatives, powers and keys to integrative change. As children of such parents we also probably made mistakes in judgement; because of our own ignorance of realities, relationships, alternatives, powers and keys to integrative change; and in turn we internalized judgements made by ourselves and by others; about our selves, ignorance, realities, relationships alternatives and powers. As small dependent children barely developing consciousness; we were likely to make the mistake of judging parents and other care givers as more perfect, powerful and ultimate than is the true case; and ourselves as less perfect, powerful and important than is ultimately the case. Our mistaken childish judgements may have been encouraged by others who helped us to internalize those judgements in ways which put the judgements out of the reach of almost all traditional adult considerations and conversations when we are grown. If we do not know the sources of our ultimate beliefs about our selves, our imperfections, our impotence our ignorance, and our alternatives; we then find it virtually impossible to call such beliefs into question in the light of our adult experiences. We cannot talk about such beliefs. If the sources and the belief's powers are hidden; then we cannot make wise adult judgements about the beliefs, and so we cannot move beyond the mistakes which were made when the beliefs, were internalized. To avoid passing such mistakes on to our own children; we must seek to understand the sources and the powers of our ultimate beliefs which are rooted in our hidden childhoods; then as adults recognize and deal honestly with the mistakes which others and we made in our childhoods. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================