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%POSSIBLE ESCAPE PRISON CHILD MISTAKE ADDICT DEPEND 910310

     It  is difficult for the inner adult child of addicts
and codependents  to  escape the prisons of mistakes  made
in families of origin BECAUSE:

     (1)  The mistakes  were recorded by  a relatively un-
informed  child    who  was  impotent  in  the   face   of
apparently    transcendent    and   ultimately    powerful
supportive  superior beings; the dysfunctional parents.

     (2)   The  mistakes  were  recorded in  places  which
are  influential   but  relatively  inaccessible  to   the
rational adult  mind  which is trained to work within  the
limiting  thought  patterns of those who  perpetuated  the
mistakes.

     (3)    To transcend the mistakes the adult child must
call  into   question the limited  security  of  childhood
which  was  the  only  ground for hope in terms  of  which
adult  views developed.

     (4)    To re-think  the  conclusions  drawn  from the
mistakes  will usually require remembering  and  re-living
the  traumas  of the early  childhood  experiences,    and
acknowledging    the    ways     in     which    childhood
interpretations    of   experiences  contributed   to  the
mistakenly  internalized  lessons  of the past,   and  the
consequent mistakes of adult life.

     (5)   To  re-think the old mistaken conclusions  will
call into question  the   grounds of security of the adult
child  of those  early  experiences,    and  so   generate
defensive reactions  which  will obscure the nature of the
mistakes  which  were  made,   and obscure  who  made  the
mistakes; and so confuse the reasons for the mistakes.

     (6)    To   transcend   the  mistakes   will   entail
transcending the collusions   of  the parents whereby  the
parents  enabled themselves to feel good about themselves,
in  spite  of the parental imperfections which  the  adult
child would  prefer to forget.

     (7)   Transcendence must involve learning to  respect
the  integrity  of the kinds of people  the  dysfunctional
parents  taught   their   children   not   to   respect---
because    such respect   would   expose   the   collusive
games   of   the dysfunctional parents.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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