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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9103101.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %POSSIBLE ESCAPE PRISON CHILD MISTAKE ADDICT DEPEND 910310 It is difficult for the inner adult child of addicts and codependents to escape the prisons of mistakes made in families of origin BECAUSE: (1) The mistakes were recorded by a relatively un- informed child who was impotent in the face of apparently transcendent and ultimately powerful supportive superior beings; the dysfunctional parents. (2) The mistakes were recorded in places which are influential but relatively inaccessible to the rational adult mind which is trained to work within the limiting thought patterns of those who perpetuated the mistakes. (3) To transcend the mistakes the adult child must call into question the limited security of childhood which was the only ground for hope in terms of which adult views developed. (4) To re-think the conclusions drawn from the mistakes will usually require remembering and re-living the traumas of the early childhood experiences, and acknowledging the ways in which childhood interpretations of experiences contributed to the mistakenly internalized lessons of the past, and the consequent mistakes of adult life. (5) To re-think the old mistaken conclusions will call into question the grounds of security of the adult child of those early experiences, and so generate defensive reactions which will obscure the nature of the mistakes which were made, and obscure who made the mistakes; and so confuse the reasons for the mistakes. (6) To transcend the mistakes will entail transcending the collusions of the parents whereby the parents enabled themselves to feel good about themselves, in spite of the parental imperfections which the adult child would prefer to forget. (7) Transcendence must involve learning to respect the integrity of the kinds of people the dysfunctional parents taught their children not to respect--- because such respect would expose the collusive games of the dysfunctional parents. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================