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   %CONFLICT EDUCE RESPOND COOPERATE MEET INTERESTS 910106

     To   achieve   satisfaction   in   a   conflict   the
participants  nee  to  respond  to  all  their  interests,
concerns and fears  in ways  which  educe and educate;  so
as  to   maximize   their  cooperation   in   working   to
minimize  their  fears,    and resolve   their   concerns,
to   mutually  fulfill   their interests with justice  for
all.  Only then can participants in a conflict resolve the
conflict.

     Conflicts   are  not resolved by virtue  of  superior
ideals,  values,  will, power, technology,   dedication or
sacrifice of participants on one side of the conflict.

     Conflicts    are   resolved   when   cooperation   is
achieved  regarding  how to satisfy the  major  interests,
concerns  and fears of the participants.   The dilemma  is
how to  achieve cooperation.

     In  conflicts  dilemmas cannot be  "solved"   through
technical means,    as if the dilemmas they were technical
problems. Dilemmas are not technical problems.   Tragedies
flow   from  treating dilemmas as if they  were  technical
problems.

     At   the  heart of each conflict may be found one  or
more  dilemmas  regarding how to work together  to  invent
creative  ways  to formulate satisfying  agreements  about
cooperative   ventures.     The  question  is:    Do   the
participants want  to deal  honestly  with  each other  in
facing  their  joint dilemma?

     The    inventions    which  resolve  conflicts    are
cooperative inventions,   not unilateral inventions.   The
inventions are the fruits of honest cooperative efforts.

     The  inventions which resolve conflicts lessen  fears
and concerns  on  both  sides of the conflicts;    and  so
the   inventions  facilitate   cooperation,     educement,
education,   imagination,      creativity   and   sympathy
regarding   the interests of all the participants.

     The    inventions   which  resolve   conflicts   help
the participants  get  to  personal positions where   they
can  together   say  YES to a jointly  invented  proposal.
Neither  side  can be regarded as the winner because  both
side    win  in   ways  that  satisfy  them  and  build  a
relationship  which promises greater future cooperation.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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