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  %DETACH ISSUE CONTROL SELF OTHER ADDICTION DEPEND 901224

     To  detach  from   the  addicts'   and  codependents'
preoccupation   with   the issue of control we  must  find
ways to  transcend the issue of control.  It is not enough
to shift the focus  of concern over being  in control,  to
concern with:

     (1)Changing who is in control,

     (2) Preoccupation with not being in control--regarded
as being either good or evil,

     (3)  Rewarding  or  punishing  people  (ourselves  or
others) for  either being, or not being in control.

     Each  person who is preoccupied with control tends to
put other   persons  on  the defensive and  so   concerned
with   control    also.     Preoccupation   with   control
generates conflicts  and violence of many forms,  of which
physical violence and war are only the most obvious forms.
Focusing upon  control  does not lead to the transcendence
of   the  conflicts   and violence which  flow  from being
preoccupied with  issues of control.   Attention  must  be
focused  upon considerations other than control,  in order
to  transcend the problems generated by the  preoccupation
with control.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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