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 %AFFIRM ENJOY INTEGRATIVE PLEASURE DEPRESSION LOVE 901014

     Some  people  fall into the trap  of  believing  that
there   is  something   wrong  about  enjoying  life   and
affirming  healthy pleasures in the presence of others who
are suffering  due to ill fortune, tragedy and/or mistakes
on their part.  The trap which they fall into expands with
our expanding sense of   the   presence  of  others.    As
our   communication technologies  expand,    the  presence
of  others  naturally expands to include all people on our
planet.  In the light of  such  an expanded sense of being
in   the  presence  of suffering others;   it  may  become
impossible  to  enjoy  life,  and   impossible  to  affirm
healthy pleasure,   if we believe that  it  is wrong to do
so in the presence  of  suffering others.

     It  is  charitable  to be  emotionally  sensitive  to
and  supportive   of others in their  times  of   trouble,
grief,  suffering,  sadness,  etc. yet;  it is not wise to
let the troubles,  grief, suffering,  sadness and mistakes
of others drag  us down to the extent that we in turn drag
them  and yet others down. We have no responsibility to be
so "down" with others,  that we will drag them down rather
than help to lift them up.

     Being  responsible  has to do with being  responsive.
To   be  responsible we need to be responsive  to  others,
but   that does not mean that we must be "down"  like they
are.   We can be  responsive in a responsible way while we
are  healthy,  cheerful,    and  enjoying the pleasures of
an   integrative life.  We can be more supportive of those
who are suffering when we are enjoying good health;   than
when we are "down" due to letting ourselves be pulled down
by the  suffering,  grief, sadness,  tragedies,  mistakes,
and pain of others.

     The    healthy  life  includes  joy,    even  in  the
presence   of people who are unfortunately and  tragically
"down".     Such  joy  need  not stand in the way  of  our
being sensitive  to others,    and  joy need not stand  in
the way of our  being responsive in responsible ways.

     To    remain   healthy   as   individuals   and    as
communities,  we need to regularly affirm the propriety of
healthy  enjoyment of normal pleasures in the presence  of
others  who  for a variety of  reasons  are  experiencing:
pain,   suffering,  grief,  hurt,   tension,   depression,
tragedy, misfortune, mistakes, etc. Such affirmations need
to  be  made  with  sensitivity  and  sympathy,   but  not
apologetically.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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