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      %HEALTHY SEXUALITY CONTROL BEHAVIOR TECHNIQUE 900916

     Healthy sexuality is undermined when efforts are made
to  use sexuality as a fix through some form of control to
achieve some preconceived goal.

     Addictive  attempts  to control sexual  activity  may
take  the  form of trying to inhibit sexual  activity  and
pleasure  so  as to try to achieve some preconceived  goal
through  inhibition;  or the addictive attempts to control
sexual  activity may take the form of trying to  stimulate
sexual activity and pleasure so as to try to achieve  some
preconceived goal through such stimulation.  In each  case
there  is  likely  to be some form of frustration  of  the
efforts.   Sexuality  is not a technique which is  readily
amenable to satisfying use or abuse for the achievement of
preconceived goals. The goals which are sought through the
addictive  control  of sexuality tend to recede  into  the
distance as they are approached.

     The  dilemma  lies  in  the  manner  of  approach  to
sexuality,   not in sexuality and sexual activity.  If the
manner of approach is that of an addict seeking a fix, the
joy of healthy sexual relationships is frustrated.

     Since  sexual  activity  is  essential  to  continued
personal  and  communal integrity,  addictions  which  are
fixated  upon  sexuality are somewhat different  than  are
addictions   which   are  fixated  upon   substances   and
activities  which are not essential to continued  personal
and communal integrity; e.g., alcohol, marijuana, cocaine,
amphetamines,   etc.   It  is not as  easy  to  avoid  all
suggestion  of sexual relationships in a recovery program,
as  it  is  to  avoid all  suggestion  of  those  foci  of
addiction which are not essential to personal and communal
integrity.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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