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%JACK JILL KIND CONFLICT RESOLUTION ADDICT PERSONAL 900910

     Jack  and Jill are involved in a conflict.   Jack  is
not clear what the nature of the conflict is.  Jack thinks
that  Jill  is  out  to get him personally.   Jack  is  an
addictive   personality  who  thinks  everything  revolves
around him; for good or ill. Jack is paranoid. Jack thinks
Jill's behavior centers around him.

     Jill  is a woman of integrity who is seeking to  live
up to her principles regarding fairness, justice, decency,
and  promoting  personal and communal  integrity.   Jack's
behavior  tends  to  undermine the  fulfillment  of  those
principles,   so  Jill's principles come in conflict  with
what  Jack  is trying to do.  Jack's principles  are  self
centered and narrow in scope.

     Jack   believes  that Jill is out to get  him,    and
that  Jill is appealing to the reasons she gives  just  to
make her efforts to get him, look good. To Jack it appears
that Jill is rationalizing her efforts.  He cannot believe
that  Jill is being honest,  because he himself rarely  is
honest.

     Jill  may  not be able to resolve her  conflict  with
Jack  in a way which is satisfactory to Jack.   Jill  may,
however,   continue to behave in a way which  will  expose
Jack's dishonesty, Jack's immaturity, and Jack's addictive
attitudes  and  behavior patterns.  Jill may thus  deprive
Jack  of the power to do as much damage as he might do  if
he were to be a powerful addictive personality  entrapping
others  into codependent relationships within an addictive
organization.   In time Jack may get so sick,  and get  so
sick of being so sick,  that Jack may realize that to feel
better he must change his thought patterns, attitudes, and
ways of behaving.  Then Jack and Jill may Get Together and
find  ways  of  Getting to Yes and  really  resolve  their
conflicts.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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