This is http://www.essayz.com/a9008301.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %FAMILY WITHIN INTEGRITY HEALING CHILD PARENT LOVE 900830 Wise biological parents give their biological children their permission to own, enjoy and express pleasure; by being living examples to their biological children of giving to their own child-within the permission to own, enjoy and express their own child- within's pleasure. Such parental permission to their biological children is not given primarily through verbal statements; rather, it is given by being powerful examples within the regular daily family life. The examples are the examples of personal integrity in the family within the biological parent by virtue of the parent within the biological parent giving permission to the child within the biological parent to own, enjoy and express its own pleasures with honesty and integrity. If children cannot comfortably view themselves as beings/being conceived and growing in/through such pleasure, they cannot comfortably and reflexively view themselves as beings/being fully affirmed and encouraged with integrity; and so cannot reflexively enjoy their own sexual lives with integrity. The natural consequence is likely to be the disintegration of their sexual lives, and the associated development of many kinds of futile compensatory addictions, codependent behaviors and collusive activities---with all the many associated forms of personal and communal conflicts. It is exceedingly important to keep clearly and honestly in mind the connections between the absence of such permission, and the natural consequences which follow while trying to deal with all forms of personal and communal conflicts in the absence of such permission. For biological parents to reflexively enable/encourage their biological children to own, enjoy and express their own pleasures, the biological parents must themselves demonstrate how it can be done through love---by reflexively owning, enjoying and expressing their own personal pleasures. For a biological child to learn to reflexively enjoy personal integrity within the family within themselves, the biological parents must demonstrate the enjoyment of personal integrity within the family within themselves. In the absence of such parental demonstrations of personal integrity and love, there are likely to develop blockages to such personal enjoyment through various forms of disintegrative dis-eased behaviors which are interpreted by the child-within the biological child to mean that such enjoyment is not permitted by the biological parents and/or by the parent- within the biological child, after the latter has become mature and may enjoy the power to carry out its decisions through communally empowered actions. The consequence is the development of many forms of conflict within the adult child and its community. The inter-relationships/conflicts within the family within the biological parent (as they are perceived by the biological child) become models which are copied in one way or another into the family within the biological child as the child matures. Also, the inter- relationships/conflicts within the family of origin of the biological child (as they are perceived by the biological child) become models which are copied in one way or another into the family within the biological child as the child matures. Those copies often compulsively dominate the life and conflicts of the mature child and its community---in ways which are usually not consciously recognized by the mature child or its community. The degree of personal integrity/conflict within which each new generation is conceived and matures depends greatly upon the degree of communal integrity with which its members are able to perceive/envision the process of their own conception/growth within their own families of origin; and the process of conception/growth of their own families-within themselves, and of the families-within their own parents. In turn, the degree of communal integrity/conflict of each community depends greatly upon the degree of personal integrity with which each new generation is conceived and matures---because of the degree of communal integrity with which its members were able to perceive/envision the process of their own conception/growth within their own families of origin; and the process of conception/growth of their own families- within themselves, and of the families-within their own parents. The whole process of conception and growth is highly reflexive in ways which will forever be a mystery to scientists whose intellectual conceptions are forever blocked by preoccupations with compulsively objective processes of understanding---because they lack reflexive forms of personal and communal integrity and love for the reasons just pointed to herein. For the roots of these perceptions read the book "Healing the Family Within" by Robert Subby. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================