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   %COMPARISON BETTER CHOICE DECISION ACCEPT REJECT 900812

     Life   is   full   of  alternatives,    options   and
possibilities;   and so is full of choices and  decisions.
They cannot be avoided.

     The  quality of a person's life depends upon how they
approach alternatives, options and possibilities; and upon
what they base their choices and decisions.

     Comparisons  must be made,  but  comparisons  between
what and what?  Upon what basis shall comparisons be made?
Upon what basis shall choices and decisions be made?   Are
there comparisons which are best not made,  to be healthy?
Are there comparisons which must be made, to be healthy?

     False comparisons are best not made.   Comparisons of
unlikes  under the pretense that they are alike and worthy
of comparison, are not healthy and/or helpful. Comparisons
made  on the basis of false assumptions are not healthy or
helpful.

     Comparisons  which lead to false conclusions are  not
healthy or helpful.  To conclude that an object is  better
than  a person may be a false conclusion,   especially  if
there  is  a lack of clarity in regard to the question  of
"Better for what,  or for whom?"  Even if there is clarity
in regards to that question,  there may be violence in the
conclusion   because  it  involves  considering  a  person
primarily as a means to an end.  Comparisons which involve
viewing   persons   primarily  as  means   to   ends   are
disintegrative comparisons.

     Most  comparisons involve assumptions with associated
attitudes  as regards what may appropriately  be  compared
with  what else.  Care needs to be taken when  comparisons
are made between unlikes; e.g., between objects,  persons,
techniques,   values,  goals,  myths,  contexts,   places,
feelings,   needs,  desires,  etc.  It is dangerous to  be
victim  of the assumption that unlikes may be compared  as
if they are alike; for such false comparisons usually lead
to disintegration.

     Even    when    healthy    comparisons   are    made,
the  conclusions  which  are drawn  and  the  choices  and
decisions    which    follow   may   be   unhealthy    and
disintegrative,   especially if the approach to the making
of  comparisons  is  lead  by  addictive  and  codependent
attitudes  in  collusive games of mutual  self  deception.
When  comparisons are motivated and lead by perfectionism,
exclusivity,    insecurity,    defensiveness,    addictive
processes,  over-responsibility,  paternalism,  fear,  and
related   considerations;    the   consequences   can   be
disintegrative,   even if the comparisons are  technically
fair and honest and so apparently healthy.  The technology
of  making fair comparisons may be put  to  disintegrative
uses by unhealthy motivations and leaders.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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