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  %RELAX PLAY RESOLVE CONFLICT RECREATION COLLUSION 900625

     Relaxation, play and conflict resolution are taboo to
participants in collusive games of mutual self  deception.
They fear that in relaxation,  play or conflict resolution
their dishonesty will be exposed.  They must be constantly
on guard and  ready  to  engage in even more sophisticated
versions of their games to conceal  their dishonest games.
They would be faithless  to their ultimate concerns to let
down  and  relax,   honestly play, or  work  for  the real
resolution of conflicts.

     Participants   in  collusive  games  of  mutual  self
deception  cannot  permit themselves to  feel  good  about
themselves  if  they are being faithless and  are  letting
down,   relaxing,    honestly playing or are  involved  in
conflict  resolution.    Perfection in the service of  the
maintenance  of appearances is essential to  feeling  good
about  oneself.   The  addicts and  codependents  who  are
playing  collusive  games of mutual self  deception  drive
themselves  without limit in their efforts as  workaholics
and  relationship addicts trying to prove that  fixes  can
work  effectively.  No sacrifice is  too great to be  made
because they believe that the essence of  their very being
depends upon their success in such efforts.

     The Biblical commandment to take a day of rest once a
week must be re-interpreted to protect collusions.   It is
often  interpreted  that  for  one  day  a  week  we  must
concentrate our efforts  more  intensely in the service of
some religious collusion.   To some people the  Sabbath is
not  a day of rest,  but a day of extra religious services
(works) which protect their religious collusions.

     Militarists   must  be  on  guard  to  protect  their
conflicts and maintain the adversarial relationships  with
the enemies who justify their defensive postures;  whether
it is the Sabbath or not.

     Businesses  must  compete every day of the week,   or
lose business, and the reason for their very existence.

     Students  must  study every day to keep up  with  the
exponential growth of information and be true scholars.

     Researchers  must research every day to keep up  with
the competition and publish before the others do,  and  so
be able to achieve tenure and scholarly salvation.

     Each collusive subculture demands unlimited dishonest
service and so must covertly undermine any inclination  to
relax, honestly play or engage in conflict resolution.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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