This is http://www.essayz.com/a9006111.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %CROSS MODE DOMINANCE CONTROL UNHEALTHY ADDICT LOVE 900611 Unhealthy people are usually unbalanced in some way; some aspect of their life plays a dominant role in ways which overwhelm other aspects of their lives and causes them to play a less significant role than is the case in healthy people. In addicts some aspect of their life tends to be in control of all other aspects of their life. To the addict such dominance and control seems appropriate, normal, natural, and in keeping with sensible ideals and values. The addict's distorted sense of what is appropriate may have originated in a distorted childhood which in ignorance of healthy childhoods seems to be a normal childhood. And yet: in some sense the addicts may know in a repressed way that they were deprived in ways they cannot understand, and resent having been deprived. Their repressed resentment may drive them to seek ways to fix their childhoods or take compensatory action towards those responsible for their childhoods being what they were. They may be compelled by compulsive desires to do things which do not make logical sense to them. People who are being driven and led by compulsive concerns are unlikely to be able to maintain a healthy balance among the various aspects of life. They are likely to be compulsively preoccupied with some aspect of life in ways which lead to neglect of other aspects of life. Compulsions may lead to preoccupations with avoidance, as well as to preoccupations with involvement; e.g., as regards sexuality, affection, spirituality, politics, formal education, music, art, money, possessions, etc. People who are compulsively seeking to minimize their involvement in some aspect of life are preoccupied with it as much as those people who compulsively spend themselves totally in immersion in that aspect of life. A compulsion of either kind does not lead to balanced living and health. Personal and communal integrity suffer and health declines when any aspect of life becomes dominant in a controlling way within persons and/or their community. When rationality and intellectual considerations control expressions of affection and sexuality without respect for their essential roles in healthy living, the consequences are disintegrative. When emotional considerations overwhelm scientific evidence regarding the origins of the human race, disintegrative consequences are soon to be experienced. When protecting the imperfect formal laws and order of the community are made of ultimate importance without regard for personal integrity and authenticity, there is bound to be personal disintegration, and the communal disintegration associated with normal expressions of resentment and healthy rebellion against abusive communal control. Balance and health cannot be achieved on terms dictated by some one aspect of a whole and healthy life, an aspect which is regarded as "better" than other aspects of a whole and healthy life. It is dangerous to let any aspect of a healthy life come to have unquestioned power to dominate and control any other aspect of a healthy life. Power often corrupts, and unquestioned power corrupts absolutely. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================