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 %INTERPRET IDEALS VALUES DICHOTOMY BLOCK INTEGRITY 900603

     Any given statement of an ideal or value is likely to
be  interpreted in quite different ways by healthy  people
on  the  one  hand,   and  addictive/codependent/collusive
people  on the other hand.   An agreement on a  string  of
words which appear to state a common ideal or value is not
the  same as an agreement on what attitudes,   assumptions
and  behaviors  are  congruent there-with,  and  thus  the
perceived meaning of the string of words is not likely  to
be the same.

     People  who  are  addicted  to  games  of   dishonest
manipulation  to  achieve  control are  not  authentically
seeking  to come  to a common understanding  about what is
really meant by  a string of words pointing  to some ideal
or value;  they are playing games with words,  not seeking
to use words as means to promote authentic intimacy.

     Legalists  place much emphasis upon strings of  words
because  they know how to use strings of words to  achieve
their manipulative goals.   To them words are manipulative
tools, not facilitators of intimate communication.

     Healthy  people  do  not use  words  as  manipulative
tools.     For  healthy people words are   means for   the
facilitation  of  intimate  dialogue  which   is essential
to         meaningfully        satisfying         personal
relationships.

     Legalists  seek to achieve a successful  manipulation
of people with prescriptions and proscriptions which  help
them   avoid  vulnerability.    Healthy  people  seek   to
transcend  such dishonesty manipulations by using words to
reveal themselves to each other as they really are,  feel,
desire and fear.

     If  we  surrender to legalists'   preoccupation  with
legalistic  prescriptions  and  proscriptions,  we  become
addicted to manipulative procedures just as they are.   No
laws are the means to salvation.   Salvation is enjoyed in
the transcendence of all laws in honest ways which fulfill
the  legitimate   purposes  which any laws  might   serve.
Such  transcendence   cannot  be captured  and  controlled
through the use of any string of words.

     The word of God is not contained in any authoritative
string  of  words.   The word of God is  revealed  in  the
presence  of people who are the incarnation of God's power
to overcome alienation  through  the  offering  of  secure
opportunities   for  open  and  honest  dialogue.    Their
presence  transcends any string of words they may use  and
the power of any such string of words.   Their presence is
not  manipulative.   Their presence is coherent  with  the
presence  of  God  and participates in the  power  of  the
presence  of  God.   God is not the great  manipulator  or
controller.  God is the great lover.  Great lovers are not
manipulators  or  controllers.   Great lovers  set  people
free  to  be   themselves   with   personal  and  communal
integrity.

     Beware of people who are compulsively concerned  with
manipulating  strings of words as if the strings of  words
were holy and/or contained great power.   They are  likely
to  try   to use strings of words as tools  to  manipulate
people.   They are not great lovers.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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