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 %DISHONEST ADDICT EXTERNAL IMPRESSION CONTROL FAIL 900528

     The addict is externally directed and is so concerned
about making a chosen im-press-ion that the addict ignores
internal awareness in favor of bringing press-ure to  bear
to leave the chosen im-press-ion upon others.   This  puts
the addict and others under pressure which leaves them all
with the impression that im-press-ions rather than reality
are what count.

     In the context of impression control honesty is   not
valued  and  dishonesty is just one among other  tools  of
manipulation.    The tools of impression  control  include
overt  lies,   but  some  of the  more  useful  tools  are
presenting misleading behavior and statements,  presenting
truths selectively to leave others with false impressions,
and   selective  silences  which  leave  people  with  the
impression of assent/agreement when the reverse is true.

     The  addict is so concerned with  impression  control
that effectiveness in the program of impression control is
a supreme concern.  This means that all false actions must
be  presented in a highly convincing way through effective
acting.    The  effective actor gets "into the  act"   and
presents himself/herself as authentically the character of
the "act".   In the instance of the addict this means that
the addict must so get into the "act" as to really believe
the dishonest act to be authentic, true, honest, coherent,
and having integrity; when such is simply not the case.

     It is  impossible  for  the  addict  to   distinguish
between the truth and the im-press-ion which the addict is
trying  to leave upon others by bringing false  "pressure"
upon  them.   In the action of the act the addict  becomes
confused  about the difference between truth and falsehood
and  so disintegrates as a person,  and contributes to the
disintegration  of the surrounding community.   The addict
cannot   be  honest  about  the  mistakes  made  and   the
falsehoods perpetuated; and so cannot learn from mistakes,
and repeats them over and over.  In the absence of honesty
learning  from  mistakes  is  impossible,   and  they  are
repeated over and over.

     Creativity   and   the  ability  to  deal   with  new
situations requires the ability to deal honestly with  the
consequences  of  tentative efforts,  and the  ability  to
quickly  decide  which tentative efforts  were  imprudent;
mistaken.  These abilities the addict does not have.   The
primary  ability  the  addict has is the ability  to  make
things  look "good"  when in fact they are disintegrating.
This ability has only a short-term positive pay-off; but a
long  term  negative  pay-off  in  personal  and  communal
disintegration.    The addict needs to be confronted  with
the truth,  offered in a loving way which frees the addict
to accept the truth and deal with it realistically.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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