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%PARTICIPATE CONFRONT OTHER DISHONEST ADDICTION JOY 900525

     We  cannot participate joyfully in others'  dishonest
behavior led by addictive attitudes.

     We cannot prevent others from engaging in   dishonest
behavior  which is led by addictive attitudes.   If we try
to   prevent  dishonest  behavior  we  get  dragged   into
dishonest behavior;  for trying to prevent specific  human
behaviors is manipulative behavior; and dishonest behavior
is the most common form of manipulative behavior.

     Trying  to  make  other  people  be  good  people  is
essentially manipulative behavior.  To the extent which we
are  totally  dedicated to making other people  into  good
people,   we will be willing to use all available tools of
manipulation in our efforts.   In our dedication we become
willing to use dishonesty as  a tool of manipulation;  and
so become like the  dishonestly manipulative people we are
trying to make into good people.

     We cannot achieve our salvation by working  to   make
other  people  into  good people.   No  one  is  saved  by
manipulative  behavior;  neither the manipulated,  nor the
manipulators.

     People   are   essentially  free  creatures.   People
respond to manipulations in ways which evade the intent of
the manipulators.   Manipulators plan their  manipulations
with  the  expectation  that the manipulated  people  will
respond   to  the  manipulations  in  some  intended  way.
Manipulated people in  some dim  way understand the intent
of the manipulation, and declare their freedom by behaving
in ways other than those which were  intended, even if the
intended  behavior  would have been in their best interest
in the absence  of the manipulation. Trying to make people
be good usually  leads to estrangement and disintegration.
Seeking  to be in open and honest dialogue with people  as
they really are,  leads to cooperation and to personal and
communal integrity.

     If  we fail to confront others'  dishonest   behavior
with honest responses,  we are likely to  get dragged into
their patterns of dishonesty.  Failing to respond honestly
to  their  dishonest  behavior is  likely  to entail tacit
support of their dishonesty.

     Honest responses can be offered with love and charity
which  have the power to set people free to be honest with
themselves, and with others.   Failing to respond honestly
helps  them  dig themselves deeper and deeper  into  their
prison of  dishonesty,  wherein they are  so confused that
they  cannot  see their dishonest behaviors which are  the
walls of the prison they have built around themselves.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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