This is http://www.essayz.com/a9005221.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %SOCIETY ADDICT CONFUSION SEX EVIL WICKED PLEASURE 900522 When society becomes an addict there is much confusion about what many good people regard as evil pleasures. The people who are regarded as good people tend to envy the people who are regarded as evil/wicked people for their freedom to enjoy forbidden pleasures without the inhibitions of discipline and prudent control. When society becomes an addict there is confusion as to the difference between being controlled and being good; the two come to be regarded as being somewhat the same. Then relationships which are not controlled by good rules are seen as bad, evil or wicked. Being free of controls is seen as bad, evil or wicked. Being restrained by respected controls is seen as being good, righteous or saved. The difference is seen to reside in the absence or presence of control. Addicts are preoccupied with control, and are dishonest about the effects of such preoccupation. Addicts regard being in control as a prerequisite to being acceptable and respectable; so they are preoccupied with issues of being in control, but are confused about the effects of always trying to be in control. The pleasures of intimate personal relationships elude people who are preoccupied with being in control in intimate personal relationships. Such pleasures are not achieved through deliberate efforts to achieve them, as in a technological achievement. Personal pleasures which are the fruits of deliberate achievement soon become empty of the power to satisfy real longings, and intensified technical efforts only underscore their lack of power to satisfy; and an addictive spiral of disintegration ensues. Addictions involve their victims in repeated/growing efforts to achieve satisfaction in personal relationships through inappropriate technical procedures by which they think that they can achieve meaningful satisfaction through their own effort. Addicts are mislead by their assumptions, attitudes and ways of thinking about personal relationships; e.g., thinking of them as impersonal things which can be manipulated. Addicts often are jealous of people whom they see as enjoying intimate personal relationships and life because they are mysteriously free of concern regarding inhibiting controls which seem so important to the addictive mentality. They believe that they have not achieved the right kind of control, or have not achieved control based upon the right kind of principles, procedures or technologies. They keep seeking the as yet undiscovered means to achieving the mysterious fulfillment that they sometimes see others enjoying. The addict is often envious and jealous of the satisfaction which they see others as having as possessions, and seek ways to get that they see others as having. They see the satisfaction as being associated with possessions and technologies which others have, and seek to have those possessions and technologies as the means to satisfaction. Often they focus upon the intimate others who seem to be the key to satisfaction, and seek to own such intimate others as the keys to their own satisfaction. The ownership of intimate others often seems to them to be the key to the missing satisfaction, but their attempts to control intimate others never brings them the true satisfaction that they long for. In frustration addicts often rebel against control, while still being preoccupied with issues of control. They seek to achieve the freedom from control which they see others enjoy, by continuing to be preoccupied with control in rebelling against controlling factors. They cannot see that those who enjoy authentic satisfaction as they live in ways which transcend issues of control, are not preoccupied with issues of control as the addicts are; are not asking the same questions: but are asking and responding to quite a different set of questions. People who enjoy satisfaction are asking and responding to questions pertaining to promoting personal and communal integrity through open and honest relationships. Addicts are asking questions pertaining to striving for respectable personal achievements, personal acceptability and satisfaction of others; and are frustrated because of how they are misled by their own attitudes and assumptions, factors in their own lives which they can change far more easily than others can. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================