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%IMPATIENCE CONTROL DESIRE FRUSTRATION ANGER RESENT 900515

     Many negative emotions are rooted in the   attitudes,
expectations,  desires,  values, ideals,  etc.   which are
characteristic of addicts.

     Impatience is rooted in the desire to be in  control.
People who want/expect to be in control find it impossible
to be authentically patient because authentic patience  is
rooted  in an acknowledgement that it is impossible to  be
in control of the course of events; and that sometimes the
most  creative  response  to a situation is  to  wait  for
events to unfold.

     Frustration is  rooted  in a course  of  events   not
conforming to some expectation,  desire,  intention,  etc.
The frustration is not great if there was no pretense that
the  course  of events was under personal  control.    The
frustration is great if there was pretense that the course
of events was or should have been under personal control.

     Anger at another person is often rooted in the  other
person  not  being  or  doing  according  to  manipulative
expectations;   the other person not yielding to  attempts
to  control.   The  failure  of the other person to  yield
threatens  the games of mutual self deception according to
which  personal  control  over  the  course of  events  is
apparently  being exercised.

     Resentment  is  rooted in the memory of a  course  of
events  which  did not evolve according  to  expectations,
intentions,  desires;  and there is a perception that some
other  person or group was to blame for things turning out
wrong.   The  other person or group was not under  control
when   they  should have been under control.  It is  their
fault that terrible consequences  occurred  and the memory
of  that  fault  is nursed  in  ways which drive and guide
present  attitudes, emotions and intentions.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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