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%TELL EXPLAIN UNDERSTAND RATIONALIZE OURSELF SPIRIT 900423

     Many   of  our  dilemmas  have  to  do  with  how  we
habitually   explain   to  ourself  the  meaning  of   our
experiences which flow from our decisions and actions, our
choices, and how we choose to be ourself.

     We would like to think well of ourselves and be well,
free of dis-ease.  If we lack integrity we are split.  One
part  of us tries to explain to the other part of  us  why
things turn out in ways we do not like.

     Because  we  want to think well of ourself  and  feel
well about ourself, one part of our disintegrated self  is
prone to explain the consequences of our mistakes in terms
of: the failings of others,  misfortune,  inadequate luck,
unfair rules,  paranoid perceptions,  etc.  It is not easy
to  own  up  to our own  mistakes,   neglect,   ignorance,
stubbornness,  dishonesty,  etc.  It seems to be easier to
try to direct blame, fault, responsibility, etc. away from
our own self.

     In the long term it is not easier to deflect blame.

     When  we do not own our own mistakes we do not  learn
from our own mistakes,  and much less from other  people's
mistakes.  The long term consequences of refusing to learn
from  our  own mistakes are much worse than the long  term
benefits of owning them and learning from them.

     The  way in which we talk to ourself and  explain  to
ourself why things turn out as they do in our lives, is an
important  factor in the development of our life.   If  we
dishonestly rationalize  to our self  and  seek to justify
our  self to our self, we are clearly fragmented and  lack
integrity; although that is not clear to our self.

     When  we lack integrity we need to seek integrity  in
meditation, relaxation, prayer and supportive communities.
We need to find people who will accept our self as it  is,
even when we do not accept our self it is.

     When  we  lack  integrity  we  need  to  seek  I-Thou
relationships  to  serve as personal contexts  for  motion
into   honest dialogue which may heal our fragmented  I-It
relationships. We  need  to seek the truth about our  self
in   open  and honest  I-Thou  relationships,     not   in
manipulative I-It relationships where each agent is trying
to   control  each other agent to achieve some short  term
relative advantage.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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