This is http://www.essayz.com/a9004111.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %PARADOX CONTROL SELF GOD TALK PRAY MEDITATE SPIRIT 900411 Real life is full of paradoxes. It does no good to try to pretend that life's paradoxes do not exist by denying the apparently contradictory truths to which they point. One of the best ways to gain control over those aspects of our lives which we can control is to govern our self-talk. We become what we become according to what we tell ourselves day after day. If we tell ourselves "cannot", then by and large we cannot do what we tell ourselves we cannot do. If we tell ourselves we can, then often we can; but not always. It does no good to try to pretend that we cannot do what only we can do. It does no good to try to pretend to do what no one can do. False pretense is no good; yet often we can do what we need to do only when we honestly pretend to be able to do it, especially after we have been telling ourselves we cannot do what only we can do. Yet we may go too far, and in trying to control our self-talk we may slip into trying to control that which cannot be controlled; e.g., God's talk. In a pretense of prayer we may try to control God and God's talk; rather than being open and accepting of mysteries and paradoxes which we cannot understand, predict or control. That which is essentially mysterious cannot be controlled. It does no good to pretend that there is nothing which is essentially mysterious, for such pretense is essentially dishonest and disintegrative. In honest prayer we are open to that which is essentially mysterious and beyond our control in the realm of the holy and the spiritual life. In dishonest prayer we try to control that which is essentially mysterious and beyond our control; and exclude ourself from the realm of the holy and the spiritual life. In dishonest prayer we try to reach our own conclusions, according to our own plans, with us in control. In honest prayer we learn to discover mysterious ways to become our true selves in honest relationships and dialogue, through which we participate in the realm of the Holy Spirit. Our calling comes from beyond us and leads us into our vocation. Our calling is not under our control; yet in mysterious ways is ours in unique and paradoxical ways. We cannot control the presence of the Holy Spirit; but we can ignore the presence of the Holy Spirit. In honest prayer we view our lives in the presence of the Holy Spirit and see clearly the way in which we may live our lives with integrity. In the presence of the Holy Spirit we find which way to live, rather than techniques by which to get to where we want to go. Prayer is not a technique by which to get to where we want to go; but rather the way in which to find how to become our true selves with integrity. We are not evil, yet when we try to control that which we regard as evil we engender alienation which is evil. Alienation is that which is evil. Trying to control evil engenders alienation which pertains to relationships, not to individual people. Attempting to control that which cannot be controlled is dishonest in ways which engenders alienation which is evil, pertaining to relationships. We cannot control our most private emotions, thoughts, desires, fears, etc. We can respond to them honestly and with integrity. Attempting to control that which we cannot control leads us into dishonest patterns of thought, affection, and behavior; and into disintegration. Responding honestly and with integrity to that which we cannot control leads us into relationships which are the essence of personal and communal integrity. The mysteries of our most intimate relationships cannot be understood, predicted or controlled according to any systematic plan. Attempts to control them, lead to dishonest relationships, and to alienation which is evil. It does no good to try to reduce all that is mysterious into combinations of things which can be controlled. Such objectivity does not lead to integrative truths, but to reductionist disintegration. To attempt to eliminate that which cannot be controlled through taboos, repressions, pretense, and collusions; is to eliminate all that makes life meaningful; and to substitute empty shells within which only the dim echoes of real life's communications can be heard. When we try to control the mediums of communication in order to be in control of what cannot be controlled, we undermine the communications which are essential to personal and communal integrity. If we do not like to be honest about embarrassing truths, and try to control the mediums of communication through which such truths come to us, we become alienated in evil ways. The ways in which we try to achieve such control are evil because they are alienative and disintegrative. To be whole we need to learn how to accept God's uncontrollable Spirit within mysterious relationships which demonstrate personal and communal integrity in the absence of our control. Such integrity is not demonstrated through the presence of our control or through the spirit of our attempts to be in control. Our attempts to achieve integrity through control of private thoughts and feelings do damage to our souls and undermine our integrity. Real life is full of paradoxes. It does no good to try to pretend that life's paradoxes do not exist by denying the apparently contradictory truths which constitute them. Many of the truths of real life seem to contradict the above truths. Such apparent contradictions are part of our effort to avoid dealing with truths which we cannot control and will not control. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================