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%EVASIVE PRETENDING HYPOTHETICAL ABSTRACT QUESTIONS 900405

     Often  people  avoid  dealing  with  their  own  real
situation  in  life by being preoccupied with  the  issues
involved  in  dealing  with somebody else's  situation  in
life.    They  do not really have to deal with  the  other
person's  situation,  and so can avoid the consequences of
any  hypothetical decisions they arrive at.   Hypothetical
decisions  are not as risky as real decisions  which  call
for real action and real consequences.   Thus many  people
prefer  to  deal with hypothetical situations rather  than
their own real situations.

     People often  give to others advice which  they  have
generated  by  asking  themselves  hypothetical  questions
about what the other persons should do.   Such unsolicited
advice  is  rarely welcome,  but it serves the purpose  of
helping  the  advisor  keep the  advisor's  mind  off  the
advisor's dilemmas.

     Often  scholarly  people  ask  themselves  and  their
students hypothetical questions which serve the purpose of
keeping   the  discussion  at  an  abstract  level   which
scholarly  people can deal with comfortably.   It is  much
less  embarrassing  to  deal  with  hypothetical  abstract
questions,   than  to  deal with  the  ever  present  real
dilemmas  in   the lives of scholars and  their  students.
Thus  they avoid risky personal intimacy.

     Sometimes   people  insist  that  others  respond  to
hypothetical  questions which are of no interest to  those
who  are asked to respond.   The people who so insist  may
want  to  be  in control in the manner of the  addict  who
attempts  to  appear to be in control in  dishonest  ways.
Such   apparent   control  of  discussion  by   means   of
hypothetical  questions serves to keep the discussion from
drifting  towards  really dealing with the  real  dilemmas
which face the participants in the discussion.  People who
eagerly participate in such discussions are in the process
of  creating a collusion within which their real  dilemmas
will  be  defined not to exist;  and will  apparently  not
exist, will be unknown.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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