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  %PREPARE CONFLICT DETACH EVIL GOOD RESOLVE BATTLE 900224

     In anticipation of a conflict addictive personalities
tend   to   prepare  for  battle  by  gathering   together
ammunition with which to intensify the damage done to  the
other  side.   Such  addictive  preparations  lead  to  an
increase  in the overall damage done to all  participants;
leading  to greater confusion,  entropy,   disintegration,
resentment,  revenge,  alienation, misunderstanding,  etc.
through prolonged conflict.

     Gathering  together  a large amount  of  concentrated
energy  in  preparation  for battle is bound  to  maximize
disintegrative consequences, whether the energy is literal
energy in the physicists' physical sense; or whether it is
energy  in a more psychological,   political,   religious,
familial,   or spiritual sense.  The explosive release  of
concentrated  energy  is more likely to be destructive  to
all  participants in the release,  than it is likely to be
constructive.

     To   minimize  destruction  we  need  to   disengage,
disperse,   separate,   detach those  energetic  elements,
constituents,   participants which/who are most likely  to
behave  in  explosive  ways in  a  catastrophe.   Conflict
resolution  does  not occur through the  concentration  of
fire  power  and the means of  destruction;   even  though
addictive  personalities  are  likely  to  lead  in   that
direction  in  preparation for what they regard as a  holy
conflict.

     Conflict   resolution  occurs   slowly,    carefully,
thoughtfully, prayerfully, in serenity and meditation; not
through battles.

     Battles  are  more destructive than  they  are  holy;
destructive  in  ways  which lead to  increased  disorder,
chaos,  confusion,  resentment,  entropy,  disintegration,
revenge, alienation, misunderstanding, etc.

     Addictive personalities do not lead us out of battles
and into conflict resolution;  they do the  reverse---they
lead  us out of conflict resolution and into battles which
are evil because they generate alienation.

     To  promote both personal and communal  integrity  we
need to recognize, respect and choose as our leaders those
people  who  wisely  seek to  minimize  the  conflict-full
effects  of addictive tendencies;  and move with wisdom in
the direction of GETTING all participants TOGETHER in open
and  honest  dialogue  TO create conflict  resolutions  to
which all participants can say YES.

     Leaders  Roger  Fisher,  William Ury and Scott  Brown
have  articulated the ways of GETTING TOGETHER and GETTING
TO  YES  in  concise little books.  They need to  be  read
together  with  an  understanding of how  they  relate  to
recovery from collusive addictions and codependent support
networks.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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