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  %TRYING HARDER SUCCEED STRAIN RELAX PRAY MEDITATE 900124

     When we fail, or do not succeed as we wish,  we often
try harder, strain ourselves more, become desperate,  etc.
Sometimes  we need to do somewhat the opposite of what  we
tend to do:  we need to play,  relax, meditate, pray,  and
otherwise  engage in diversions which will help  us  break
the compulsive hold which a preoccupation has on us.

     When  we do not succeed in meaningful ways we may  be
addicted to some process or activity which is not  healthy
for  us.   Our values and ideals may be  out  of  balance,
improperly  focused,  or lack contextual integrity.  If we
are misled, trying harder in misleading ways will not lead
to success in meaningful ways.

     In  such  times  we need to stop trying  so  hard  in
misleading  ways;   and seek to gain new  perspectives  on
where we are, what our situation is, and how we might grow
through changes in our values and ideals.  Perhaps we need
to change our habits and attitudes; or the spirit in which
we approach our work.  Perhaps we are too earnest,  rather
than  not earnest enough.  Perhaps we need new friends who
are fundamentally different than all our present friends.

     If  we  compulsively refuse to admit that we  may  be
tenaciously  committing a mistake,  we will be  unable  to
quit   repeating  the  tenacious  mistake.   When  we  are
tenacious  in misleading ways,  our tenacity is no virtue.
Then a dash of humility, play, relaxation, meditation, and
prayer  might  spice  up life;  and we  might  learn  what
serenity  is all about.  Then we may succeed in satisfying
meaningful ways.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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