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  %UNLIMITED DUTY RESPOND CRY HELP NEED RESPONSIBLE 900115

     The committed codependent feels an unlimited duty  to
respond to the cries for help and to the "needs"  of their
addictive  associates.   Codependents do not know  how  to
distinguish  between authentic un-coercive cries for  help
in  authentic  situations of need on the  one  hand,   and
coercive  cries  for help in dishonest situations  on  the
other hand.

     Power   corrupts,   and  unlimited   power   corrupts
absolutely.  To be willing to respond in unlimited ways to
cries  for help from an addict gives the addict  unlimited
power   which  corrupts  the  addict,   and  corrupts  the
relationship between the addict and the codependent who is
imprudently responsive to the addict.

     Coercive cries for help and coercive presentations of
apparent  needs for help are presented within the  context
of  relationships which involve many,  even though subtle,
forms  of dishonesty.  We do not have a duty to respond to
dishonest  cries  for  help;   and in  fact,   it  is  our
responsibility   to  learn  how  to  distinguish   between
dishonest cries for help, and honest cries for help.

     Dishonest  cries for help involve the  pretense  that
the  person  calling for help is unable to do anything  to
improve  their situation;  and in fact the most  important
thing  which they can do is to dedicate themselves to work
to  establish  honesty as a norm in  their  inter-personal
relationships.   So  long as they resist doing  that  most
important thing,  their cries for help will continue to be
dishonest,   and  not  worthy of great  sacrifice  in  any
response.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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