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       %REFLEXIVE DESIRE IDEAL CONTROL SATISFACTION 891207

     Human  ideals are reflexive;  they reflect back  upon
the persons who embody the ideals.

     Human  ideals are not objective  realities;   because
they reflect back upon the persons who embody the ideals.

     Objective realities exist apart from the observers of
the realities, who detach themselves from the realities to
observe them more objectively.

     Objective observers cannot detach themselves from the
realities of their ideals and thereby observe their ideals
more objectively;  i.e.,  more objectively in the sense of
more reliably.

     A  person's  ideals may entail the ideal of being  in
control; and may entail the meta-ideal of being in control
of  reflexive realities pertaining to self and other,  and
pertaining   to   desires,    pleasures,     satisfaction,
fulfillment, joy, happiness, self esteem, pride, humility,
etc.

     It  is a mistake to uncritically embody the ideal  of
being in control; for there are many realities which it is
a mistake to attempt to control,  and it is a meta-mistake
to idealize the control of such realities.

     Some  things are done by mistake,  by an  inadvertent
slip,   without real intention.  It is relatively easy  to
learn  from such mistakes,  to recognize the nature of the
mistake, and the nature of the consequences of having made
such a mistake.

     Some   mistakes  originate if certain   ideals  which
guide behavior and self evaluation; not inadvertently, but
with  real  intention.   It  is hard to  learn  from  such
mistakes or to recognize the nature of such mistakes.  The
consequences   of  mistakes  of  intention  are  hard   to
recognize.

     Mistakes  of intention are not intentionally made  as
mistakes.  There is no intention to make a mistake;  there
is an intention to fulfill an ideal.  The mistake was made
in  embodying  an  ideal which cannot  be  fulfilled  with
integrity.     Once   the   mistake   of   embodying   the
disintegrative  ideal  has been made,  it is difficult  to
recognize the nature of the mistake which was made in  the
act of embodying the ideal.

     Particularly  tragic  are the mistakes  of  embodying
ideals  which conceal their own disintegrative  character.
Particularly  tragic  are the mistakes  of  embodying  the
ideal  of  BEING IN FULL CONTROL  OF:   self-and/or-other,
desires,  pleasures,  satisfactions,  fulfillments,  joys,
happiness,   self esteem,  pride,  humility,  etc.  It  is
particularly  tragic  to embody the ideal  of  controlling
that which is essentially beyond human control.  The meta-
mistake of such an internalization of a controlling  ideal
will  often  conceal its own disintegrative  character  in
such  a way that it is nearly impossible for the maker  or
observer of the mistake to learn from the mistake.  People
who are trapped in collusions,  addictions and codependent
patterns  of  behavior  often make such  meta-mistakes  in
their  efforts  to  deal with the  consequences  of  their
dishonest patterns of behavior.

     It  is  a meta-mistake to internalize  the  ideal  of
achieving  control  through  misleading  and/or  dishonest
behavior. Once misleading behavior has been accepted as an
appropriate  means for achieving the control over  others,
the  means quickly takes over control of self and other in
ultimately  tragic  ways  which are  consistent  with  the
internalized  ideal.  The whole disintegrative process can
be quite logical and reasonable in appearance to those who
have  internalized the ideal of achieving control  through
misleading and/or dishonest behavior.  They find it nearly
impossible  to  learn  from  their  individual   mistakes,
because  they made the meta-mistake of believing that they
can   achieve  their  fulfillment  through  the  means  of
misleading  behaviors.   They  made  the  meta-mistake  of
idealizing  the control of that which it is foolish to try
to control,  and made the meta-mistake of idealizing means
which  control  those people who internalize  them;   with
ultimately disintegrative consequences.

     It  is an ultimately tragic meta-mistake to  idealize
the  control  of  that which is essentially  beyond  human
control.  Such meta-mistakes often lead to processes which
systematically  confuse the people who make such mistakes,
and  make it virtually impossible for them to  learn  from
their meta-mistakes.  They tend to idealize the process of
covering  up their ordinary mistakes,  as a means to avoid
the  pain of admitting that they have made a tragic  meta-
mistake,   in  trying  to  control what  which  cannot  be
controlled.  Dishonesty become a sophisticated way of life
which  is highly respected and idealized in  meta-mistaken
ways.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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