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%CONFUSION CONSEQUENCES DECISION ACTION ADDICT HELP 891206

     When one person feels that another person should  not
suffer the consequences of their particular decisions  and
actions, there is bound to evolve some confusion regarding
the consequences of such particular decisions and actions.

     If  the consequences of the particular decisions  and
actions  of Jack are that Jill intervenes and  compensates
for the foolishness of Jack; then the ultimate consequence
is   that  the  Jack  fails  to  learn  what  the  natural
consequences  of foolish behavior are;  and instead learns
to continue behaving in foolish ways of by being dependent
upon Jill for regular rescue service.

     Jack  is  not helped by rescues  which  confuses  him
about  the natural consequences of his  foolish  behavior.
Being  totally protected from the natural consequences  of
our repeated mistakes is not helpful protection.

     We need to learn from our mistakes if we are to avoid
repeating  our  mistakes.   Repeated mistakes  are  doubly
mistaken.   Repeated  mistakes may be the  consequence  of
meta-mistakes  made by people who seek to protect us  from
the  consequences  of  our  mistakes.   Meta-mistakes  are
mistakes  which entail the internalization  of  misleading
ideals,  values,  principles, goals, myths, etc.  A  meta-
mistake is a grand scale mistake which misleads us to make
many  mistakes of similar kinds,  because the meta-mistake
blinds  us  to the consequences towards which it  and  its
consequent repeated mistakes lead us.

     It is a meta-mistake to believe that we can helpfully
control other people;  their feelings, beliefs,  opinions,
expressions, decisions and actions. Once we have made that
meta-mistake,   we  are led into making  many  repetitious
mistakes  in trying to achieve such control with the  best
of intentions and convictions.  We are also likely to  try
to  control  our  perception of the  consequences  of  our
mistakes,  so that our perceptions lead us to believe that
we  are doing "good"  in our efforts to control others and
ourselves.   We are likely to perceive those who challenge
our good works as being evil,  and as a threat to the good
order which we are trying to create through our efforts to
be  in control.  Under such circumstances we are unable to
perceive our meta-mistake or its consequences.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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