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  %RECEIVED COMMUNICATION MESSAGE ACCEPTED LANGUAGE 891129

     In communication there are messages sent and messages
received and/or accepted.  The messages which are sent are
not  necessarily  the messages which are  received  and/or
accepted.

     The  messages  which  are  received  and/or  accepted
depend  upon  the meanings of symbols and actions  to  the
receiver, just as much as upon the meanings of symbols and
actions to the sender of the messages.

     The  messages  which  are  received  and/or  accepted
further  depend upon the assumptions made by the  receiver
regarding  the intentions and manner of  communication  of
the  sender---is the sender being:  sarcastic,   indirect,
direct,   manipulative,   coercive,   friendly,   selfish,
generous,  foolish, clever, naive, pretentious,  dramatic,
misleading, honest, secretive, open, etc.

     The  messages which are received further depend  upon
the actual and perceived paradigms within which the sender
and  receiver  operate---and  the extent  to  which  those
paradigms   are  characterized  by  behaviors  which   are
addictive, codependent, collusive, etc.

     The  messages  which  are received  depend  upon  how
defensive  the  sender  and  receiver  are  regarding  the
sending  and interpretation of messages;  upon how  secure
they  are in being who they are trying to be.  Further all
depends  upon how defensive each perceives self and  other
to be.

     The  messages  which  are received  depend  upon  the
nature of the relationship between sender and receiver; by
virtue  of  previous personal interactions,  by virtue  of
previous  personal  relationships within and  among  their
respective    communities,     by   virtue   of    assumed
identifications  of  the two with respect  to  communities
which  are perceived to be relevant.  Here prejudices  and
fears may play as large a role as objective realities.

     The  messages which Jack receives from  Jill  depends
upon identifications which Jack and Jill make between self
and/or other with groups such as: Whites, Negroes, Blacks,
Africans,  Latinos,  Asians,  etc.;  Christians,  Muslims,
Jews,  Bahais, Buddhists, Shintoists, Humanists, Atheists,
Agnostics,   Catholics,  Protestants,   etc;   scientists,
engineers,   technicians,  militarists,  pacifists,   etc;
Americans,  Russians,  French,  Germans,  English,  Irish,
Israelis, Palestinians, Indians, Pakistani, etc.

     The   identifications which are made,  may  be  based
upon  fact,   fiction,  paranoia,  fear,   mis-perception,
prejudice,  lies,  etc.  The effect of the identifications
may  be  somewhat  the same regardless of the  basis  upon
which  the identification was made;  messages are received
in  terms  of  identifications which have  been  made  and
relationships  which  are perceived to exist for  whatever
reason.

     There   is  not  a simple one  to  one   relationship
between messages received and messages sent.

     Messages  sent often do not correspond in any one  to
one  way  to  messages  which were intended  to  be  sent.
Messages  are  sent by body  language  without  intention.
Messages are sent by what is not done, said or written; as
much as by what is done, said or written.  It is futile to
try  to  define  what  message was  actually  sent  in  an
objective  way;  for in situations which are  of  greatest
importance,  the reality of the message is as much defined
by  the reception and interpretation processes,  as by the
generation and transmission processes.

     Only when messages are of  a very formal character in
keeping   with   generally   accepted  formal   rules   of
generation,   representation  and interpretation;   is  it
possible to confirm that the message received is the  same
as    the   message   sent---making   possible   objective
verification  of  the essence of the message,  as  between
sending and receiving computer centers.

     The  importance of these consideration  increases  as
the  level  of power and misunderstanding between  peoples
increases.   The more destructive power that people  have,
the  more important it is to all the people involved  that
they  understand  each  other and their messages  in  ways
which  do  not  lead to the exercise  of  destructive  and
disintegrative power. The exercise of destructive power is
not integrative action,  and cannot be controlled in  ways
to make it be an integrative action.

     To  avoid  the  fatal exercise of  destructive  power
people  need  to work hard on understanding  each  other's
messages  in  ways  which lead  to  integrative  behavior,
rather than to disintegrative behavior.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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