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%ADDICT CONTROL PUNISH SUBJECT DICTATE VICTIM RIGHT 891114

     Addicts  often deprive people of essential  pleasures
as the addicts try to control people.  Addicts threaten to
deny people essential pleasures as a means to get them  to
conform  to the desires and expectations which the addicts
have.   The  addicts cloth their desires and  expectations
with   the  vestments  of  respectability,   morality  and
propriety;  but the addicts'  coercion and deprivation are
real regardless of what masks hide the reality.

     Victims of dictatorial addicts are often  codependent
supporters of the dictatorial addicts. For their own short
term advantage they support their addicts,  while becoming
more  and more confused about what their support is  doing
to their own personal and communal integrity.

     Addicts deprive people of the just rewards for  their
work.   Addicts deprive people of the pleasures which  are
essential  to  healthy living.  Punishments which  deprive
people  of the security which is essential to  health  are
not helpful punishments; they lead to disintegration.

     Essential     pleasures    are   not   rewards    for
conformity,   and  should not be withheld and regarded  as
rewards  for conformity to any standards of propriety.  To
permit essential pleasures to be rewards for conformity is
disintegrative  behavior  which is evil in its  alienative
consequences.

     The  pleasure of the security of authentic love is an
essential  pleasure  without which disintegration  occurs.
Withholding the pleasure of the security of authentic love
as  a  reward  to  be conferred upon  those  who  properly
conform, is addictive behavior which leads to the evils of
personal and communal disintegration and alienation.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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